


do I wanna know?

by kumjongin



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bottom Kim Jongin | Kai, Drinking, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Smut, Top Oh Sehun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:28:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29105586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumjongin/pseuds/kumjongin
Summary: Sehun is always there to pick up the pieces after Jongin gets dumped. Even if it means acting like his boyfriend - without the labels of course.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 13
Kudos: 141
Collections: Top Sehun Fest Round 1





	do I wanna know?

**Author's Note:**

> note that side ships are mentioned mostly in passing but include: kaisoo, kairis, chankai, and kaixing.

“Do you want to go to the movies?” Jongin asked, suddenly standing in the doorway.

Sehun glanced up from his laptop, where he’d been in the middle of writing his paper on Italian architecture in the 13th century. “Hm?”

Jongin laughed quietly, inviting himself inside and draping himself onto the foot of Sehun’s bed. “Movies. You and me, how about it?”

He looked at his paper, and went back to Jongin. “Ah...sure, I can use the break,” he shrugged, saving the document before closing it quickly. He could never really say no to Jongin, they’d been friends for the past two years, when they’d taken freshman biology together and been lab partners. It started a little rocky, Sehun a little too quiet and Jongin a little too talkative to listen to everything the teacher tried to tell them. But after Jongin invited Sehun to go out for lunch after class one day, they’d been practically inseparable since.

As they sat in the movie theater, watching one of the latest horror releases Jongin seemed to love so much, Jongin suddenly wound his fingers through Sehun’s, holding onto his hand. Sehun glanced down at their entwined fingers, a pit forming in his stomach. 

His gaze drifted from the movie and over to Jongin, the way his attention held fast to the screen in front of him, the way his pretty full lips parted and the soft angle of his nose and cheekbones. He sighed quietly to himself, but squeezed Jongin’s hand and returned his attention back to the movie. He was only too familiar with this routine.

When the movie was over, Jongin didn’t let go, changing his hold on his hand to holding onto his arm. “Sehun, can we go out for ice cream? Will you treat me?” he asked, a smile on his face.

“You don’t have to play cute with me, Jongin, you know I will,” he said, elbowing him lightly in the ribs.

“I’m always cute,” he countered, fluttering his eyelashes playfully.

Sehun snorted, but didn’t argue with him as they walked toward the ice cream shop on the corner. Their college town was relatively quiet, full of trees and small businesses who hired their classmates. It had become tradition for Jongin and Sehun to get ice cream after movies, though they only went to the movies when Jongin was in one of those moods again. 

He waited until they’d ordered their ice cream, rocky road for Jongin and chocolate for Sehun, and were settled into a table near the window until he asked. “So...when was the breakup?”

☆

It didn’t take long for Sehun to figure out that Jongin had a tendency to get dumped a lot. He didn’t exactly know why that was, or when it started, but whenever Jongin would meet a new guy, it was bliss for a little while until inevitably things would begin to shift until their eventual conclusion. There had been a few guys that Sehun hardly knew much about, only knew that passingly something had happened.

The first one he really remembered had been Jongin’s math tutor, Kyungsoo. He even met him a few times when they all hung out together at parties or studying in the library. Sehun thought he was nice enough, if not a little quiet, but Jongin was nothing but smiles when he was around him. When he was alone with Sehun, he’d gush about how well Kyungsoo took care of him, and Sehun would nod and say he was glad for him. But then one night he came to Sehun’s room and asked if they could go to dinner, where he continued to be more affectionate than usual. He blurted out that Kyungsoo dumped him over dessert, and Sehun apologized and just held his hand and told bad jokes to get him to smile again.

A few months later he met a guy named Yifan, and suddenly Sehun saw a lot less of him. He’d gotten used to Jongin’s affection, but suddenly Jongin was withdrawing his hand after just a moment and maintaining distance during dinners. Sehun wasn’t sure if he liked Yifan, he hardly saw him and when he did he frowned a lot. Jongin said that he was actually very sweet and fun when they were alone, but Sehun wasn’t convinced. Like all the others, it didn’t last. Jongin broke the news as they watched a movie on Sehun’s laptop, and Sehun immediately wrapped his arm around him to comfort.

That was the first time they slept together, when Jongin suddenly moved from embrace to straddling Sehun’s hips, searching for his lips desperately. Sehun wasn’t sure if they should, given that Jongin was so upset, but Jongin assured him that he wanted to. Jongin rode him needy and desperate on the bed, clinging to Sehun like he was afraid to let go. Afterward, Jongin insisted on being held tight as he drifted off to sleep, as Sehun pressed tender kisses against his face and held him so carefully, almost afraid to let go of him.

It lasted like that for months, where Jongin would sometimes find his way into Sehun’s bed again and Sehun was more than happy to take Jongin out to dinners or movies or take him on picnics, just so long as it meant he could hold his hand and kiss him with both hands cupping his pretty cheeks at the end of the night. He didn’t think they needed to talk about what it was between them, thought that it was clear enough in the way they talked about their tomorrows and planned everything around seeing each other next.

But at the end of that semester, Jongin pulled away, not coming over as often as he had and not reaching out for Sehun’s hand like he usually did. He found out when he met Jongin at the campus coffee shop, and found him leaning his head against Chanyeol’s shoulder, their fingers entwined together. It was more of a surprise, given that Chanyeol had already been a casual friend to them both. But Sehun was good at faking a smile and listening to how Chanyeol had finally gathered up the nerve to ask Jongin on a proper date, and the rest was history.

History, at least, until Chanyeol dumped Jongin three weeks later. He’d said it was because he thought they were better friends after all, and Jongin didn’t seem too heartbroken about it. He came to Sehun almost immediately, and it was almost as though Chanyeol hadn’t happened.

Of course, it had. And Sehun realized that whatever fragile relationship they had could be broken at any second if Jongin found someone new.

☆

“Come on, try it,” Jongin said, holding up his fork to Sehun’s lips. 

Sehun glanced at the pancake, dripping with syrup, and parted his lips, letting Jongin push the morsel between them. Sweetness filled his mouth, and he hummed, “Good. A little sweet, but good,” he said. When Jongin was even a little bit sad, he would eat everything sweet, and Sehun was more than happy to buy him desserts and treats if it kept him smiling. Of course, it was only breakfast, but he could hardly argue when a good half of breakfast foods were all sweet anyway. 

“Kind of like me, too sweet, but still good,” Jongin said with a loud laugh. 

Sehun rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but smile a little. “Are you doing okay though? Y’know, with Yixing?” That had been Jongin’s latest, a nice boy he’d met in class who was always kind and smiled a lot.

Jongin twirled his fork in the syrup, considering the question. “Yeah, I’m okay. I guess I never really thought Yixing was the one, you know? But he was sweet.”

“You didn’t tell me why you two broke up,” he reminded gently, reaching over to squeeze his hand.

Jongin squeezed back, “He said I was too distracted all the time. And he felt like he needed to be with someone who was putting as much into the relationship as he was, and he didn’t think he got that with me,” he said, voice a touch softer than it had been a moment before.

“What? That’s crazy, you’re always attentive.” He frowned.

“I don’t know, maybe it was just an excuse, but it’s over now. At least I have you, Sehun, I’m always thankful to have you.”

Sehun’s chest ached with those words, and he wanted to reach out and shake him. He wanted to yell that he  _ was _ right there, and Jongin wasn’t seeing how much he wanted to be with him. “You’ll always have me,” he promised instead, watching him intently. He hoped that Jongin would get the message, could hear it in his voice or see it in his face.

Jongin just smiled, “Come on, I’m gonna be late for class.”

☆

Sehun tipped the cup, draining the remaining contents into his mouth. He winced slightly, that was the problem with too cheap vodka, it burned all the way down. It was mixed with soda, but it just seemed to amplify the bad taste. Suddenly, there was a weight on his lap, and he grunted for a second in confusion before he blinked a few times, realizing it was Jongin. He’d had a drink too many probably, but he didn’t care, a smile coming to his face at the sight of him.

He wrapped his arms around his waist, “Hey, are you having fun?” he asked quietly.

Jongin smiled and pressed a kiss to his temple. “More now.”

“God, get a room already,” Jongdae said, throwing an empty cup in their general direction.

Jongin laughed, “Shut up, or I’ll get a lot worse,” he warned. 

Sehun didn’t really know what that meant, but he couldn’t say he would mind. He pulled Jongin even closer, hooking his chin on his shoulder. He liked the warmth of Jongin’s solid body pressed so close against him, his firm ass pressed against his crotch and his pretty waist at just the right position for him to wrap his hands around it.

The party was at Baekhyun’s, who usually managed to have parties whenever he felt an urge, which was increasingly frequent as the semester drew to a close. The more stressed he got, the more parties he seemed to throw. Not that he minded, or anyone else for that matter. It meant nights of too many drinks and watching his friends hookup with people they’d probably regret the next day, which always gave him something to laugh at if nothing else. 

Jongin nuzzled against his cheek, and Sehun couldn’t help but smile, pulling him in tighter. “Are you having fun?”

“Mm...yeah, I feel all warm. You’re warm,” he said and laughed.

“You’re cute like this. Do you want to go? Looks like Junmyeon might be someone else’s problem tonight,” he joked. His roommate was talking to someone Sehun didn’t recognize, leaning in close to talk to him. Which was nice, since Junmyeon didn’t often let himself enjoy a private life that wasn’t devoted to studying or looking out for his friends.

“Sure, let’s go,” Jongin said.

Sehun volunteered to grab their jackets, and left Jongin by the door as he made his way through the filled apartment. People usually ended up dumping their coats onto Baekhyun’s bed, though it was always a guess whether or not they’d all be rolled around on by some couple who couldn’t help themselves. Thankfully, the room was empty, but as he stepped out, there was Baekhyun, smiling at him.

“Well, well, are you and Jongin going out this time?”

“What?”

Baekhyun laughed, “Don’t play dumb, everyone can see you two. I’m just curious if it’s another...Jongin got dumped so you’re the fallback, or if you two have got it together.”

Sehun frowned a little. “We’re friends, that’s all.”

“Ah...so you’re the fall guy still, got it,” Baekhyun said, though his tone wasn’t unkind.

Still, it wasn’t exactly what Sehun wanted to hear. “I don’t mind, okay?” Before Baekhyun could respond, however, Sehun was gone and headed for Jongin. He found him laughing as a few people played beer pong, Jongin’s hand lingering on Chanyeol’s arm. A knot formed in his throat, but he knew it was dumb. Chanyeol was still their friend, and it wasn’t like he had a reason to be jealous of Jongin interacting with other people.

“Hey...you ready?” he asked, glancing to Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol smiled. That unguarded, happy smile of his. “Sehun, hey man, feels like I haven’t gotten to see you all night. And now you’re leaving? Lame.”

“Ah, you know, I’m not the biggest life of the party like you, man. Let’s hang soon though,” he said.

“I’m not invited?” Jongin asked playfully, fingers wrapping around Sehun’s. 

He raised an eyebrow. Was Jongin trying to get back together with Chanyeol? “I mean if you want,” he said. 

Jongin laughed, “Don’t be so serious, Sehun, I’m only teasing.”

“You two have fun,” Chanyeol said, shooting Sehun a wink.

He didn’t really think much more about it, just wanted to get away from the incessant music and cheap alcohol that was making his head throb. His pleasant buzz from earlier had quickly worn off. The walk to the dorm was relatively short, and Jongin just kept clinging to his arm as they walked, chatting about things that happened at the party. Sehun was happy to mostly just listen to him, letting the sound of his deep voice settle over him. He could listen to Jongin talk for hours.

When they got in, they immediately shed their coats and shoes, and all at once Jongin was kissing him. Sehun gasped in surprise, but quickly fell into a comfortable rhythm of chasing Jongin’s lips with his own. He could taste the lingering alcohol on his lips, and he pulled him in closer to kiss him even harder.

It had been too long since he’d been allowed to kiss Jongin like this. He and Yixing had been together for a few months, and Sehun had done his best to ignore the way that his body yearned for Jongin’s even when he couldn’t touch him the way he wanted to. But now he had Jongin kissing him and pliant in his arms, soft little sounds leaving his lips when Sehun’s tongue brushed against his own.

But Jongin was needy, and it didn’t take long for their clothes to be tossed to the floor, discarded and abandoned. Sehun didn’t want to waste the time they had together, so he savored the sensation of running his fingers along Jongin’s skin and kissing his body, savored the sensation of sliding slicked up fingers inside of him and hearing those beautiful moans slip from his lips.

When Jongin was ready, he settled himself onto the pillows and Sehun held him tightly, afraid to let go of him. He savored the sight of Jongin’s kiss swollen lips and darkened eyes as he entered him, groaning at the tight heat surrounding him. “God...I missed you,” he whispered, half mumbling the words. He didn’t even know if Jongin could hear them, or if he was too preoccupied to notice, because he didn’t say anything. Just whines softly and clinged tighter.

But that was alright with Sehun. He kissed him softly and slowly, distracting him and letting the moment pass. Jongin rolled his hips onto Sehun’s, and he began to move. They were too worked up to go slowly, and Sehun knew Jongin’s body well enough that he could quickly find the exact right angle that would make him cry out with little worry for the dorm’s paper thin walls surrounding them. Sehun never told him to be quiet, though. Every moan and whimper sent a pulse straight to his cock, and he could only fuck Jongin harder in response.

As he sharply thrust into Jongin, he pressed hot kisses against his skin, whispering softly that he missed him and needed him. The actual sounds of the words were too low to be heard, and Jongin only moaned underneath him, nails running down his back. Sehun felt dizzy with pleasure and want, and he wrapped his arms around Jongin’s waist tighter, squeezing him so tightly he feared he’d leave marks. But it didn’t matter when they were so close. 

All at once, pleasure and warmth spread through him, and he groaned Jongin’s name loudly as he came. Jongin wasn’t long after, crying out as he fisted his cock. Come spilled onto their stomachs, and Sehun could only kiss Jongin softly, aftershocks of pleasure still coursing through him.

Sehun cleaned them both up with warm cloths, and when he crawled behind Jongin he wondered if he was already asleep. He wrapped his arms around his waist, and just as he began to drift off, he heard a faint, “I missed you too.”

☆

Nothing ever really changed between them no matter how many times they slept together. It was always just the same unnamed relationship, that they always said was just a friendship. Sehun really wasn’t sure why they kept doing it, but he was too afraid to really ask. Every time he’d think that Jongin was going to say something to mark it as official, he’d instead he’d get news that Jongin was seeing someone, and he’d try and forget all about it until the next breakup.

Sometimes they’d go out, and Sehun would treat Jongin to movies and sweets and anything he wanted. He’d buy him stuffed animals that he seemed fond of and he’d surprise him with ice cream when he knew Jongin might be tired from his classes. And Jongin was always smiling so gratefully, and would kiss Sehun’s cheek and tell him he was the best. But even more often, they’d just stay in one of their dorms, saying they were going to study but would end up cuddling instead. Junmyeon would just roll his eyes and tell them to let him know if he should leave. Which they did sometimes, and Sehun would find new ways to make Jongin scream his name.

“Why did you and Jongin really break up?” Sehun asked. He and Chanyeol finally made good on their promise to hang out, and after they’d already exhausted the topics of school and their mutual friends, he didn’t see the harm in asking. He still wasn’t sure if Jongin was still trying to get back with Chanyeol or not after all.

“Ah...well, I did think we were better friends. But he also just...seemed really distracted y’know?” Chanyeol said, taking a drink from his soda.

“I’ve heard people say that before, yeah. But...how?” He twirled a french fry in the pool of ketchup on his plate. 

“Like...he was always into someone else I’d say.” Chanyeol grinned.

“Oh? Who?” He frowned. Surely he’d have noticed if there was someone Jongin liked that much, unless it had been Yixing.

“You really don’t know?”

Sehun blinked, “Huh?”

Chanyeol laughed, the sound almost too loud for the diner. “You dumbass, you two are meant for each other. I mean you, dude.”

His cheeks felt a little hot, and he turned his attention to his plate, frowning like he was trying to concentrate on counting the number of sesame seeds on his bun. Jongin couldn’t like him, he’d had plenty of opportunities to show it, after all. “I don’t know about that,” he finally said, though he was practically mumbling.

“I think everyone else sees it, man. You two look and act like you’re already together, I don’t think you have anything to lose, man. I see the way you look at each other,” Chanyeol said, his voice calm and steady, serious for once.

Sehun licked his lips, not sure what to say. He didn’t think he’d been that obvious, and he wasn’t so sure about getting his hopes up about Jongin liking him back. “I...I don’t want to fuck everything up,” he finally settled on. 

“It’s already pretty fucked, if you think about it,” Chanyeol shrugged.

Sehun groaned, hiding his face.

☆

It was a few days after he hung out with Chanyeol, still not really sure if his words were true and no less close to figuring out if Jongin liked him the same way he’d liked him for so long. “Want to study? I have a paper due Monday,” he offered as he met Jongin after class.

Jongin smiled a little, “Sure. Let’s go to my dorm.”

When they got to the dorm, Jongin’s roommate was on his way out. “Have fun you two,” he mumbled, slinging his book bag over his shoulder.

Sehun snorted and tossed his bag on Jongin’s desk. “God, I can’t wait for this semester to be done.”

“You know we haven’t even hit midterms yet,” Jongin said, pulling out his books.

Sehun sighed softly, “I know. Still true though.”

They quickly settled on the bed, Sehun with his laptop opened to a blank document where his essay should go, and Jongin with books scattered in his lap. They worked in comfortable silence for a while, though Sehun couldn’t help but sometimes peer over his computer at the way Jongin looked when he was deep in thought. He had a habit of biting his bottom lip when he was in the middle of working, and Sehun always had a desire to reach out and brush his hand along his cheek, to pull him from those thoughts. But then Jongin would meet his gaze, and Sehun would only smile a little and return to his essay.

After a while, Jongin let out a loud groan and fell backward on his bed. “I don’t wanna do this,” he muttered.

Sehun snorted, “When do you ever?”

“Good point. It’s nap time, though, now,” Jongin said, a smile finding its way to his face.

“It’s like seven.”

“Nap time is a state of mind.”

Sehun closed his laptop and set it to the side. “Hopeless,” he said, though amusement was clear in his voice.

Jongin laughed and sat up again, “Oh, I don’t see you fighting to keep working.”

“Can’t argue with that.” He paused for a brief moment, taking in the pretty shade of Jongin’s lips, curved in a sweet smile. 

He leaned in, wrapping an arm around Jongin’s waist to keep him close. But just as their lips were within a breath of each other, Jongin turned his head. “What are you doing?”

Sehun froze, confusion sweeping over him at the sudden question. “What?”

“Come on...we’re just friends,” Jongin said, though his gaze remained focused on his lap as though he couldn’t look at Sehun and say it.

“What?”

“Sehun…”

He licked his lips, trying to put together the pieces of what was happening. “Just friends? Like you weren’t just begging me to fuck you last night? Right...so who is it this time?” There was a lump in his throat, but he knew this routine. Unfortunately, he’d been here too many times to count anymore. 

“You’re upset. I’m sorry, Sehun, I’ve just...been talking to Yukhei a lot more lately, I think it’s getting serious,” he said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

Sehun sighed, annoyance creeping in. “Everyone is right. Whatever this is between us...it’s fucked up, Jongin. Anytime you get dumped, suddenly I’m the one who has to pick up all of your pieces. It doesn’t matter what I want, it doesn’t matter that I’ve always wanted you, because I’m nothing more to you than some guy you fuck when someone else decides they don’t want you anymore. Fuck this, Jongin.” His tone was calm, even though he felt hot all over. He was embarrassed, and hurt, and angry. Mostly at himself, for letting it continue for so long.

“Sehun-”

“No...no. I’m done.” Sehun stood, shoving his things into his bag and leaving. He was already at his dorm before he realized that he left his jacket in Jongin’s dorm, but there was no chance he was going back for it.

He was tired and fed up with feeling used. As soon as he got to his dorm, he flopped down face first onto the bed. He ignored Junmyeon asking if he was alright, he couldn’t even bother to form an answer.

☆

For the next two weeks, Jongin tried to get Sehun to talk to him. He would text him at first, asking to talk. But Sehun didn’t reply. Jongin tried to approach him when he saw him in the library, but Sehun walked away before he could even say anything. He even waited outside Sehun’s class one afternoon, to which Sehun stared at him for a moment before walking past him as though he didn’t know him at all.

It wasn’t exactly easy, everything in him yearned to talk to Jongin again. He wanted to reassure him that everything would be okay, wanted to forgive and apologize. But at the same time, every time he looked at him he felt a burning stab of betrayal, of that incessant hurt that reminded him that Jongin didn’t want him. That he’d never want him no matter how many games they went back and forth between.

“So…” Chanyeol started, sitting down across from him.

Sehun glanced up. “Hm?”

“What’s going on between you and Jongin?”

“I wish everyone would stop asking that…” Sehun said, turning his attention back to the book he held in his hand.

“Oof, touchy. Okay, I’ll cut the small talk. Jongin told me you aren’t talking to him. What happened?”

“Ask him, if he’s telling you so much.”

“Sehun...come on, man, I’m not on his side. I was just curious, you two are always together. He didn’t really say what it was about, just that you were upset with him,” Chanyeol shrugged.

“Of course he did…” Sehun mused quietly, sighing again. He still hated the idea of Jongin being sad about what happened between them, but he earned a right to be upset. “Whatever was going on with us...wasn’t working anymore, that’s all. You go ahead and be his new fallback.”

“Come on, man...I’m not taking anyone’s place. I’m sure you two can work it out.”

“Forget about it, I don’t care. He isn’t my problem anymore.”

☆

Sehun sighed, looking over his review notes on his essay, but his mind kept wandering. He was tired, and he hadn’t been able to settle the tempest of emotions still inside of him. Ever since they’d become friends, they hadn’t gone more than a couple of days without talking to each other, and part of him was feeling a little bit lost. Everything lacked a certain degree of interest or excitement, everything just didn’t seem as interesting.

Almost as though summoned, the door of the dorm opened, and Sehun glanced up. There was Jongin, looking every bit as beautiful as he always did. But he looked a bit sheepish, the oversized sweater he wore made him look cute, like he needed to be held. But as Sehun looked at him, that pit of anger rose again. He turned his gaze away, back to the essay.

“We’re going to talk,” Jongin said, voice quiet as he closed the door behind him. “I’ve told Junmyeon to leave us alone, and I’m not letting you leave until you talk to me.”

Sehun clenched his jaw. “I already said what I had to say to you.”

“I...yeah, maybe, but I haven’t gotten a chance to say anything. I’m sorry...most importantly. I’m really sorry that I’ve hurt you like this,” he said, shifting from foot to foot.

Sehun hummed. “Okay, thanks.” He wasn’t going to just let it go that easily, not because of a simple little apology.

“I’ve really...missed you.”

He looked up, those words flashing in his mind, of when Jongin whispered those words so quietly as Sehun held him. “I don’t want to do this.”

Jongin sighed quietly, and walked over to perch himself on the bed. “I know. And I’m sorry again...I know I’ve fucked up a lot. But I feel like I at least owe you an explanation.”

Part of him wanted to just say that he didn’t want any kind of explanation, that he just wanted to leave it and be done with whatever mind game Jongin wanted to play. But the bigger part of him was curious, and was never that good at denying Jongin in the first place. “Sure.”

“You mean a lot to me, Sehun. You’re my best friend...and I didn’t want to lose that. I thought that...I don’t know, if we kept it as we were, then it wouldn’t change. I know how messed up that is, I didn’t even take your feelings into account. I just always thought that it would come up if it was something you wanted, I didn’t think it bothered you. Which was stupid, and really selfish, I can see that,” his voice trailed off.

“Why was it up to me? You’re the one who would go find a new boyfriend all the time, I just waited for you. Like an idiot. Do you know what that feels like? Of course you don’t, but let me tell you, it feels like shit,” he said, leveling his gaze at Jongin.

Jongin nodded. “I was an idiot...I can’t explain it any better than that. It’s my fault, and I’m really sorry...I never wanted to hurt you. You do mean so much to me, and I’ve always liked you so much, but I was scared. I mess up every relationship I’ve ever been in, I don’t want that to happen to us. I don’t want us to become strangers.”

As much as Sehun knew he probably had a right to still be upset, he still hated the thought of Jongin feeling this way. He didn’t like seeing him sad, didn’t like knowing that he was causing it for even a moment. He sighed softly, and shifted until he was sitting behind Jongin, his legs on either side of him as he wrapped his arms around his waist. He hooked his chin over his shoulder, nuzzling into him and holding him tight until Jongin began to relax, back pressing against Sehun’s chest.

“It’s okay, Jongin. I forgive you, really. We won’t be strangers, please just don’t be sad,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Jongin’s hands reached to hold onto Sehun’s arms around his middle, keeping him there. “I love you, Sehun, I think I always have.”

“I love you too. Do you think just me is enough for you?” he asked, kissing softly along his neck. 

Jongin tilted his head, inviting Sehun further. “You’re everything already.”

Sehun’s lips twitched in a smile, and he reached to tilt Jongin’s face toward him. He found his lips almost instinctively, kissing him gently over and over. Jongin made a quiet sound into the kiss, parting his lips in invitation. Sehun’s tongue brushed over his lips, savoring the taste of him and the familiar feeling of kissing Jongin. They kissed for long minutes, even though he wondered if that had to hurt Jongin’s neck a little bit. But he didn’t want to stop kissing him long enough to ask or move. 

It seemed Jongin was more needy, before he knew it he was off of the bed and pulling that giant sweater over his head, tossing it to the ground. “I need you,” he said, voice quiet but demanding.

The sound of the words went straight to Sehun’s cock, pulsing in the confines of his jeans. He didn’t waste any more time, pulling off his shirt and unbuttoning his pants quickly. By the time he had slipped his jeans off, Jongin was completely naked, standing before him. Sehun allowed his gaze to rake over him, taking in his sun-kissed skin and the pretty defined muscles that ran along his body. He pulled Jongin to him, and pressed a soft kiss to his chest, softly running his tongue over one of his nipples. Jongin groaned softly, leaning into the touch. 

Sehun ran his hands along his back, feeling the expanse of warm skin as he licked his nipple, working it to a hardened nub. He glanced up and Jongin’s face, seeing his eyes closed and lips parted slightly in pleasure. He moved to the other nipple, pressing soft kisses to his pec before running his teeth over the rosy flesh. Jongin hissed, and Sehun immediately pressed a hot kiss to the nipple.

Suddenly, a hand came to rest on his chin, tilting him away from his chest. Jongin leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips before suddenly lowering himself onto his knees. Fingers slipped around the waistband of his underwear, and he quickly slipped them off, Sehun’s cock springing free. Jongin licked a stripe along Sehun’s cock, running from the base and along the underside of him to the tip. Sehun shuddered at the sensation, and his hands immediately found purchase in Jongin’s hair, gripping lightly. He bit his lip, trying to hold in his sounds as Jongin’s tongue licked along the head of his cock, swirling in a way that made his cock throb. Jongin’s mouth was always so perfect, and he couldn’t help the loud moan that slipped from him when Jongin took him in his mouth all at once. 

His cock throbbed and pulsed against Jongin’s tongue, the wet heat working him up quickly, fingers clenching tighter in Jongin’s hair. His moans continued as Jongin began to bob on his lap, his velvet mouth working wonders on him. When a tightening sensation began to build in his balls, he choked out a feeble, “Stop.” Jongin pulled off, a string of saliva and precome trailing from his lips. Sehun brushed a finger over his bottom lip, “I need you, baby.”

Jongin pressed a soft kiss to his lips before moving to get on the bed, laying down propped onto the pillows. Sehun rummed in one of the drawers, pulling out lube and a condom before he moved to join him. He took a moment to take in the beauty of Jongin below him, as he settled between his legs. Jongin smiled at him, his sweet smile a sharp contrast to how wrecked he already looked. His hair was wild from Sehun’s fingers carding through it, his lips were swollen and red from use, his cheeks flushed, and yet he was so beautiful. 

Sehun slicked up his fingers, and Jongin spread his legs apart for him. He slowly ran a finger along his thigh, earning him a shiver from Jongin as his touch got closer to his ass. “You’re so sexy like this,” Sehun said, voice coming out raspier than he thought it would be. He trailed his fingers over the curve of his ass before sliding along his crack. Jongin’s hips bucked against him, seeking the touch more and more.

He loved how quickly Jongin could come undone underneath him, always so needy and quick to moan and whine when Sehun did something he liked. Keeping his gaze trained on Jongin’s face, he slowly circled his rim for a moment before sliding the first finger inside him. Jongin’s cock twitched toward his stomach, his lips parting more at the sensation. He slid his finger all the way inside of him, watching for any sign of discomfort before he slid it back out. He teased him slowly, gently easing him into the sensation of being filled. He knew that Jongin could handle it more rough than that, but he liked to watch him become even more of a wreck the longer he dragged it out.

As he pushed in the second finger, Jongin bit down on his hand, trying to hold in his sounds. Sehun pressed soft kisses to his stomach and chest, savoring the salty taste of him. He thrust his fingers in and out of him, slowly spreading his fingers apart each time. Jongin moaned each time Sehun’s fingers brushed against a sensitive spot inside him, muffled against his hand. Sehun loved the sounds that he made, but he knew he needed to enjoy what he could get without attracting the attention of everyone else on the floor. As he worked in a third finger, Jongin was bucking against his fingers with each thrust, demanding more and more.

He slid his fingers out from Jongin, and quickly slicked up his length in a generous coating of lube. Jongin was panting softly, sweat matting his hair. Sehun reached out, hooking one of Jongin’s legs over his shoulder as he guided himself to his entrance. Teasingly, he circled his rim with the head of his cock, not quite pushing in but brushing over what Jongin wanted. Jongin groaned softly, pushing against him in a needy way. “You’re already so wrecked, baby. You look so hot like this,” he said, kissing Jongin’s ankle as he slowly began to push inside of him.

Jongin gasped softly as he was being filled, and Sehun ran his hands along his thighs to help keep him relaxed. The tight heat surrounding his cock kept sending ripples of pleasure throughout his body. It took everything inside of him to not just shove into Jongin and begin fucking him harshly. But he never wanted to hurt him, so he took it slow to a point where it may have been more agonizing than just fucking him properly, inch by inch. Soft moans slipped out, and finally his cock was settled inside of Jongin’s tight ass. Sehun groaned softly, his length pulsing at the sensation of pleasure surrounding him. Jongin was breathing heavily, eyes half-lidded.

“Please...fuck me,” Jongin said, voice breathy and quiet.

Sehun held onto the back of his thigh before drawing himself out almost all the way. He watched Jongin closely as he suddenly thrust into him again, seeing the way he moaned and he tossed his head back. Sehun groaned softly at the sensation, and as much as he wanted to draw this out too, he knew he was too worked up. He set a rough pace, pulling almost too far out of Jongin every time before shoving back inside. Jongin was working hard to suppress his sounds each time, and every little moan and whine that left his lips seemed to go straight to Sehun’s dick.

He dug his fingers into the skin of Jongin’s thighs, pushing his legs back until he was practically bent in half. Jongin was flexible, a fact which Sehun loved to get the most out of when they had the chance. He admired the way his pretty pink cock was curved against his stomach, steadily leaking precome as Sehun fucked into him. His hips never slowed, only thrusting into him harsher and harsher as the pleasure continued to build.

Jongin’s hand went between them to fist his cock, stroking himself quickly as they continued to bounce together on the bed. Sehun could feel the heat building, sweat was running in rivulets down his back and across his forehead, and he knew he was close. A wealth of pleasure suddenly shot through him, and his vision blurred, toes curling and soft curses slipping from his lips as he suddenly hit his climax. His fingernails dug into Jongin’s thighs, and he realized belatedly that the tight hold would probably leave marks, but it didn’t matter in the moment. He slowly released his hold on Jongin’s thighs, and wrapped his hand around Jongin’s own, guiding him to stroke himself to orgasm.

Jongin came with a sharp cry, head tilting back against the pillows and his ass clenching tightly around Sehun’s cock. A shiver ran through him at the sensation, and he slowly stroked Jongin a few more times, wanting to prolong the pleasure as much as he could. It took Jongin a few minutes to come down from his pleasure high, and his breathing was heavy. 

Sehun gently aided him, pushing his legs into a more comfortable position. He grabbed some tissues, and gently began to clean them off. After making sure that Jongin was okay, and that he was reasonably cleaned up, he crawled in behind him, holding him close.

“You’re mine, right? No one else’s?” he asked, nuzzling his head, taking in the scent of him.

Jongin let out a quiet laugh, “All yours, I promise.”

Sehun couldn’t help but smile.

**Author's Note:**

> this got a bit more angsty than I expected but I still hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading.
> 
> \+ thank you so much to the mods for holding this fest!
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/kumjongin). [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/kumjongin).


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